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"Angry or sad or both?"
  by: Sweetiechild7

I have had epilepsy my whole life and was properly diagnosed when I was 9. I have petit-mal seizures and it has been a tough struggle, one that I typically try not to think of as tough. Almost a year ago while I was attending a conference for an organization I belong to, one of my friends in the group, who has grand mal seizures, had a seizure. I felt ashamed that I had never seen a grand mal seizure before. Melissa, my friend, was in the bathroom of the hotel room and fell almost falling sideways possibly hitting her head on the toilet. Crystal, who was in her room, came banging on everyone's doors trying to get help. When I heard her and came to I opened the door and saw Melissa on the floor in her room. I freaked out running up and down to the front desk to call an ambulance. She was ok and they put her to bed so she could rest. I stood in the hall and started to cry. No one else understood why and especially became angry when I was late to an engagement I had. What made me so upset was that I couldn't understand why I was blessed to have petit mal seizures and a person like Melissa with such good character was given grand mal seizures. And I still don't. I don't understand why we can't all go through the same struggle and hardship. I know that I should and do feel lucky for having such a lightened case, but I don't feel any better knowing that she has to have it so much harder. When will it get easy or simple? When can we all live normal lives??